Wednesday, October 21, 2009

AD's and hummus

I seem to be having one of those times when I feel like I am withdrawing from life.  Becoming a spectator again, rather than a participant.  I feel like I am not really here... and nobody will much miss me anyway.  Except maybe the kids, and that's only because I'm the one who feeds them.  I'm unimportant, but not in that "nobody loves me everybody hates me I'm gonna go eat worms" way - more like I'm just insignificant... something to pass by and not notice.

It's weird.  I don't know what causes it, or how to reverse it.  It just happens sometimes, and then goes away.  Even when I was little.  Then I used to think I was just part of someone else's dream, and I was just waiting for them to wake up and I would never have existed at all.  I guess it says a lot about my childhood that that idea didn't scare me.

So - have I picked the best time to wean off my anti-depressants or what?  I'm on Effexor, have been for about 6 months.  I've been off and on AD's in the past, the last one being Zoloft for post-partum depression (remind me to tell you about THAT someday - that was fun!).  I went off the Zoloft when I was ready, with very few problems, and had no idea that Effexor was going to be any different.  Oh Brother was I wrong.  Severe headaches, nausea, enough dizziness to rival any 3 carnival rides you can name... and I was back on it, calling for my doctor.  So now I have a lower dosage, and a plan to wean off slowly.  Sounds like a good idea to me.  Or maybe just a way to prolong this nasty headache, I can't be sure right now.

OH!  Total subject change here!  I'm going to have to turn in my Hummus Harlot badge for just a Harlot one.  I tried hummus finally and well.... I took pictures so you can see for yourself.  Please ignore the scary frizzy hair I have in these - my planning skills are obviously on vacation along with my sense of reality, or I would not have done these right out of a shower without doing *something* with my hair!

The cast - Whole Grain Wheat Thins (very yummy) and some hummus I picked up at Wal Mart.  Yes, I know, this is basically sacrilege, but I generally try an easy version of something to see if I might be interested enough to go all out for it.

Me with hummus loaded cracker.  Not much explanation needed.  Frizzy hair not being mentioned.

Hmmm... tasting, no longer smiling (also not looking at camera)

And the verdict.  EW.  I followed this one up with a few more unadulterated crackers to get that nasty taste out of my mouth.  So I may be kicked off OHiH twice.  My hummus was not homemade.  And I didn't like it at all.  I guess that just leaves more for the rest of you.

Okay, headache is winning.  If I knew for sure how long the withdrawal from Effexor lasted I'm not sure I wouldn't just choose to quit cold turkey and get it over with rather than drag this out for weeks or longer.  I've done the longterm headache thing already (I had one continuous headache for just over 3 months last year) and I am so not liking this.  Anyone have any experience they can share?  Sorry for all my whining.  I'll try and make my next post more cheerful!  I still have birthday pictures and a few from the pumpkin patch.



Too bad you didn't like it! It is yummy:) Your hair isn't bad!

Tina said... funny! I'm so glad I am not the only one who dislikes it......


justjaime30 said...

LOL I dont think i would like Hummus either... might have to try it sometime tho... i guess... ya know.. if im gonna stick around the harlots lol

I weaned off zoloft a few years ago and not much helped with my head aches. Coffee sometimes helped with a couple aleve or advil liquid gels


Jill said...

I can totally identify with feeling invisible. I want to ween off of my ADs too but I don't think now is a good time.

I won't hate you for not liking hummus.

Really Frugal said...

Funny post. and sad too; sorry to hear about the headaches. I suffer too, but it's beacause I make bad choices - high carb, low sleep, evil nicotine. Be so careful getting off the drug. Scary stuff because reaction is so individual. Now, as far as Hummus, you absolutely must try homemade if you get the chance. It is not the same food. I wouldn't vote you off the island for hating it, though.

Kristin said...

ROLMAO - that face was classic! I have yet to try it but may ask the "chef" to make a homemade batch for me and see how it goes. I am pretty sure you won't be kicked off.

And sorry you are struggling and having headaches...that is no fun.

won said...

Maybe it was really the headache that made you feel out of sorts, and thus not like the hummus????

lisa said...

ha ha! just between you and me...I don't like hummus either.

GrammieMommy said...

I'm laughing a little bit cuz the comments are from people who aren't big fans of hummus either. I can take it or leave it! My son is a fan..but he does the healthy thang. Best of luck on weaning off Effexor. I believe a gradual move to a lower dose and then taking it every other day, then 2 days etc would be best.

Jennifer said...

Thanks for the good thoughts everyone! And for not kicking me off Hummus Island :) Glad to hear I'm not the only one not all that into hummus.

GM - that is exactly how my doctor recommended I do it.

won - you're undoubtedly right. It's the headache, not the hummus :)

Trudy said...

I can't even bring myself to try it. You are brave.

Erin Lutz said...

Blech. I don't like it either! Hope things get a little better each day. Btw, I madee your muffins and they were a HUGE hit!! Thank you so much. The chocolate chips we perfect. :)

Shana said...

I've never tried it either *gasp*! Good luck with the weaning. I had a horrible time coming off of Zoloft & just did it cold turkey. I never had any problem with the Effexor, so I'm no help there. You asked about the crackers being oily...they really aren't. I thought the would be wet & soggy! I mean you get a little bit of residue on your fingers but no more than you would from a bag of potato chips. They are SO good! I made them Saturday & the few that are left are still crispy today. (of course there are no Ritz left though, ha!)

Shana said...

OH! What you were describing...I go through that all the time. I feel like whatever God has planned for me, this is NOT it! There has to be something more important for me. I feel like I don't have a voice & nothing I say matters, because no one hears me. Then it will pass. Hang in there!! You aren't the only one!


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