Saturday, December 12, 2009

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,
   I know it's been a long time since I wrote you a letter.  You probably didn't expect to hear from me this year either, but I have a few things on my list that I don't think even Amazon carries, so I figured it couldn't hurt to ask you.  After all, you're the one who's supposed to be made of magic, right?

 I want to be off the damn anti-depressants that steal my ability to cry, my sex drive, make me gain weight, and take away the highs, as well as the lows.  But I want to be off them, without being in a hole.  I'm tired of the world being a dark bleak place Santa.  Maybe I just need a visit to the North Pole with you?

I really want to be a better mother.  More patient, more loving, kinder, calmer, and more temperate.  Slower to anger, more imaginative, less worried about the mess and more involved in their worlds.  This might be a pretty big request.  I hope you've got some really talented elves.

I would give anything for things to be easier for Christopher.  I want him to not have to fight for everything.  I don't want his life to be perfect, just not so hard all the time.  As you know, he's such a special boy, he just needs a hand. 

And while we're talking about my kids - do you think you could make them get along, just once in a while?  They spend an awful lot of time screaming at each other.  Actually - doing this one thing would go a long way in making me a better mother.  It's a lot easier to be a calm, happy mom when there's less screaming.

Could you find S a new job, or make his manager move to Siberia or something?  I'm not sure what exactly needs to happen, but he is really miserable in his work lately and when Daddy's not happy, nobody's happy!

Oh yes - could you lace our Christmas dinner with Xanax, or Fairy Dust, or whatever it's going to take to make my mother be human for this one?  I'm scared.  You know what she's like, and this is an important Christmas to me.  My first one hosting, the first one where I'm the grown up, not just a kid.  I'm not asking for a miracle, just 12 hours of not horrible behavior from her.  Please?

And there are a few people I have met online lately who could really use a visit from you this year too Santa.  I won't name names, but little girls having surgery, grown up girls with health issues, moms who've lost their children, people who've lost their jobs... the list goes on.  Isn't there something in your bag for them too?

Well Santa, I think that about covers it.  I've got lots of cookies and other yummy treats - and I'm not above bribery.  You name it, I'll bake it.  But I'm counting on you, so please don't let me down.

Hoping to have a Merry Christmas,


Dawn said...

Sending you *big hugs* I think more people than you think wish for Xanax sprinkled holiday food.

won said...

"Oh yes - could you lace our Christmas dinner with Xanax, or Fairy Dust, or whatever it's going to take to make my mother be human for this one?"

If Santa drops the ball on this one, you could always handle things accordingly, you know?

Just saying....

Anonymous said...

Hugs Jennifer!

Erin Lutz said...

I wish I could make Santa bring you all your wishes. We could take up a Xanax collection for you!! Hugs.

Anemone Pie said...

I hope Santa listens and gives you every single thing you've wished for. I don't think you're asking for too much at all. (((you)))

Kitty said...

It will get better. I have a mom like yours and I've learned to ignore her behavior. She hates being ignored, really hates it, so she's less insulting these days.

Tina said...


I had to laugh about the xanax...there is always Duct Tape for your mom..I mean if the xanax doesn't work out...LOL



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