Dear Santa

Dear Santa,
   I know it's been a long time since I wrote you a letter.  You probably didn't expect to hear from me this year either, but I have a few things on my list that I don't think even Amazon carries, so I figured it couldn't hurt to ask you.  After all, you're the one who's supposed to be made of magic, right?

 I want to be off the damn anti-depressants that steal my ability to cry, my sex drive, make me gain weight, and take away the highs, as well as the lows.  But I want to be off them, without being in a hole.  I'm tired of the world being a dark bleak place Santa.  Maybe I just need a visit to the North Pole with you?

I really want to be a better mother.  More patient, more loving, kinder, calmer, and more temperate.  Slower to anger, more imaginative, less worried about the mess and more involved in their worlds.  This might be a pretty big request.  I hope you've got some really talented elves.

I would give anything for things to be easier for Christopher.  I want him to not have to fight for everything.  I don't want his life to be perfect, just not so hard all the time.  As you know, he's such a special boy, he just needs a hand. 

And while we're talking about my kids - do you think you could make them get along, just once in a while?  They spend an awful lot of time screaming at each other.  Actually - doing this one thing would go a long way in making me a better mother.  It's a lot easier to be a calm, happy mom when there's less screaming.

Could you find S a new job, or make his manager move to Siberia or something?  I'm not sure what exactly needs to happen, but he is really miserable in his work lately and when Daddy's not happy, nobody's happy!

Oh yes - could you lace our Christmas dinner with Xanax, or Fairy Dust, or whatever it's going to take to make my mother be human for this one?  I'm scared.  You know what she's like, and this is an important Christmas to me.  My first one hosting, the first one where I'm the grown up, not just a kid.  I'm not asking for a miracle, just 12 hours of not horrible behavior from her.  Please?

And there are a few people I have met online lately who could really use a visit from you this year too Santa.  I won't name names, but little girls having surgery, grown up girls with health issues, moms who've lost their children, people who've lost their jobs... the list goes on.  Isn't there something in your bag for them too?

Well Santa, I think that about covers it.  I've got lots of cookies and other yummy treats - and I'm not above bribery.  You name it, I'll bake it.  But I'm counting on you, so please don't let me down.

Hoping to have a Merry Christmas,
      Love
    Jennifer